Advanced Tips, Leaders

5 Disciplines To Build In Every Man

Posted on 07/08/201909/16/2019 by Vince Miller

08
Jul

The end goal of the Christian life is to become the man that God wants us to be, by allowing his vision, mission, purposes, and goals to shape our lives. One way we can lead men to this is it through discipline. A discipline, or in our case "spiritual discipline," is a training activity that helps to shape and force character over an extended period of time that accelerates and focuses the process. Spiritual discipline is the "strict training" that Paul was talking about 1 Corinthians 9:25.

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.”

ONE | Prayer

Prayer is a fundamental discipline that men need to learn to build into their lives. Prayer is simply a conversation with God. But so many men have other priorities that compete with this primary spiritual activity. In our busy lives there are so many other competing activities vying for our time that before you know it men have gone days and weeks devoid of prayer, relying on human strength which leaves them feeling spiritually dry. Since this discipline frequently drops out of first place, we have to remind men of its priority.

Prayer is like oxygen for the lungs of the Christian man. For most, our prayer life is less than we want it to be, and therefore we restrict our spiritual lives of the air we need to live. We must voluntarily train ourselves to pray until involuntary processes take over, and then from time to time give it prayer renewed attention with a few deeper breaths.

TWO | Regular Time In God’s Word

We can never get too much of God’s truth. The truth is always found outside of us and only in Christ. And God's Word is the revelation of this. Small doses of it, in short readings on Sunday mornings, is not enough to be “filled” with the truth. We need to challenge men to read it, to listen to it, study it, and pray it. And I am not talking listening to another pastor talk about their understanding of the Bible; I mean praying it, reading it, and studying it for themselves.

One of the great apps over the last few years that I have pointed men to is the Daily Audio Bible. In an app for your smartphone, Brian Hardin reads the Bible daily to you. I have been a huge fan of listening to the Bible since I can do it anywhere. In my bed, on a drive, and even on the run, but I think we also need to read it, study it, and pray it. If you want to dig in deeper you should check out Logos Bible Software, it is the best on the market with the broadest library for studying the Bible, and I use it regularly for my studies. If you need to build this discipline yourself try the Men's Daily Devotional below. I think it is a great way to get men going with daily reading in God's Word.

THREE | Positive Spiritual Accountability

Men need relationships with other men. Too often we don't have strong spiritual connections with other men. Far too many men do life alone. They go the journey alone because healthy spiritual relationships are so hard to find and creating a structure for these relationships often new territory.

Accountability is critical. And I am not talking about accountability only regarding things I should stop doing, but the stuff I should start doing. When men think about accountability, they tend to think about accountability around the things they do wrong, like their sin patterns. I think men do need some accountability around this, but they also need some accountability around actions that will have a positive impact on their spiritual life. For example, I need people to hold me accountable to praying with my wife, regularly giving to my church, reading my Bible, forgiving myself, letting go of my anxiety by trusting in God, and things like this. Solely focusing on the previous is not motivating for very long.

Check out one of our Accountability Reports if you are looking for some structure.

FOUR | Small Group Involvement

I think men who participate in small groups, are often maturing more and faster than other men because the previous three disciplines can be sharpened in this environment. That is if it is led well. Men need to be involved in a Christian community, and not just the large weekend gathering, but smaller gathering in groups where they can discover some things about themselves and others. Spiritual growth does not happen in isolation it occurs in a community, and men need other men. For when they link arms great things happen. For example, just look back at what Jesus did with twelve men, and his small group changed the world.

If you need help starting a small group or want material for a small group contact me today.

EMAIL VINCE MILLER

FIVE | Personal Ministry

Christian men who are maturing and have the right balance in their life have space for personal ministry. Personal ministry would include things like leading a small group, mentoring another man, teaching a class at church, mission trips, service projects, youth leadership, and the like. I get excited when men do this because now they are not just receiving discipline, they are extending their spiritual leadership with others.

Some men I know need to do this and need to be pushed to do this. Too often men wait to take this step, yet every pastor and ministry leader out there needs help. And I think men sometimes need a little push on this one since they love to disqualify themselves. Sometimes they need a push off the diving board, to come alive!

If you are looking for opportunities to lead contact your pastor or me today. We are committed to serving you so you can become the men and leaders that God wants you to be!

If you are looking for material for your men’s group or are looking for help with your small group leadership, reach out to us a www.beresolute.org or send us an email.

Vince Miller is an author and speaker to men around the world on topics that include manhood, masculinity, fatherhood, mentorship, and leadership. He has authored 16 different books for men and is hosted on major video platforms like RightNow Media and Faithlife TV. He hosts a weekly podcast, writes weekly articles, and provides daily thoughts from God's Word all just for men. He is a 27-year ministry veteran and the founder of Resolute a Men's Ministry Platform that provides bible studies aimed at building better men found at www.beresolute.org

Advanced Tips, Leaders

Top 5 Men’s Bible Studies 2019

Posted on 07/07/201908/09/2019 by Vince Miller

07
Jul

What Are The Top 5 Men’s Bible Studies in 2019?

Finding Great Men's Content Is Hard If Not Impossible

Finding great content for men can be challenging. If you’ve been looking for any amount of time, you’ll quickly realize there's not a lot of bible study options on the market - especially for men. Many of the options that are available are dated, not geared specifically to men's issues, or ultimately fail to get men into Bible study. Here is a checklist to guide you as you look to resource your men and men's leaders — a few keys to finding the best bible study.

Find content that engages every a man in meaningful and relevant spiritual conversation. Men want and need a real discussion.
Find content that leads a conversation for men. Men don't want another 45-minute video that talks at them.
Find content that effectively uses the Bible and teaches how to study. Many are using little bible text, give attention to this.
Find content that teaches men “how to think.” Most curriculum informs them of “what to think.”
Find content that has a goal of moving men from spectators to multiplying leaders. We need men leading other men.

Look at some of the most popular bible studies we've found out there. We’ve rated them for you according to the checklist above.

Five great choices for men's bible study content...

BIBLE STUDY FELLOWSHIP (aka B.S.F.)

Bible Study Fellowship

BSF is a trusted resource used to lead groups through the habit of studying God’s Word. Started by a passionate woman, A. Wetherell Johnson, BSF has been providing churches with a “class format experience” in the Bible. Their four-fold approach includes questioning, discussion, listening and learning. Questioning and learning are emphasized outside of class time, while the discussion and listening happen within.

PROS - A long history of successful Bible study techniques used in a group setting. Heavy use of Scripture and learning how to understand the Bible. A moderate library of studies to use. And it comes at no cost for participants.

CONS - This resource is not focused on men while men do attend. BSF appeals primarily to an older audience with more time on their hands. Hours of homework outside of the class time are expected and encouraged. This resource traditionally has predominantly been attended by women as classes sometimes occur during the middle of the workday.

RESOLUTE

Resolute Curriculum

After the passing of his grandfather and mentor, Vince Miller spent nearly 20 years looking for mentorship. Seeing the gap, he set out resolve this issue for men by starting Resolute. Resolute content is designed around specific goals and outcomes, has a purposeful discussion, relevant study in God’s Word, robust practical application, and a positive focus for 60-90 minute meeting.

PROS - Written exclusively for men. Videos are short and promote spiritual discussion between every participant. Easy to lead with a great result in any context. Participant Handbooks are designed beautifully. Men learn how to study the Bible during the meeting instead of being told what to think. Mentoring between group members and accountability is a planned outcome. They also continue to add to their content on a regular basis.

CONS - Newest men’s content on the market. Not designed to be done alone. Requires Internet access or video downloads (DVD’s not available). Videos and handbooks must be used together.

STEPPING UP

Stepping Up

This resource is based on the book by Dennis Rainey. There are ten individual sessions designed for a group of men. This content will help men understand the five steps of manhood and lead them to develop their personalized action plan.

PROS - Focused exclusively on men, the workbooks offer a healthy amount of group discussion questions. Scripture is used throughout to emphasize principles. The group videos are inspiring and well-produced.

CONS - There are only ten sessions available. A fair amount of homework outside the time is encouraged in the workbook. A narrow focus on courage that doesn’t cover other common issues that men experience. The video will take up the bulk of the group time with less conversation.

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Man In The Mirror

This content was born in the late 1980s when Patrick Morley began leading a Friday morning Bible study for men. MIM offers a variety of resources for men’s ministry. This content has been used in many different men’s ministry contexts. They provide books, videos, and other group resources.

PROS - A broad offering of resources directed towards men. Easy to understand lessons that are very applicable to a broad audience of men. Scripture used with a strong emphasis. The material addresses many common problems men face.

CONS - Resources are challenging to navigate and find on their website. Some content appears outdated in both look and feel. Most of the group time is consumed by watching a longer video. The Bible study portion is inferred with pre-drawn conclusions.

33 THE SERIES

33 the DVD Series

33 is a well-produced remake of Robert Lewis’, Men’s Fraternity. There are six different studies available that engage with topics that are relevant to men. Each study features a “training guide” that men follow along in as they watch the videos.

PROS - Focused on and geared toward men. The content is professionally laid out, and the videos have a high cinematic value. The topics addressed are relevant to issues many men encounter today. A variety of different presenters gives expert opinions on the material.

CONS - This is not a bible study. Scripture is used sparingly and studying scripture is not an emphasis. The facts and information presented about men can be discouraging. The videos are lengthy and consume most of any group time with a sermon-like feel. Some lessons are vague and lack clear application.

SOME OF OUR BEST SELLING BIBLE STUDIES ARE...

NEW

Books

Thirty Virtues That Build A Man

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Handbooks

Attributes For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 10.99

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20 Lessons That Build A Leader

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Foundations For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 10.99

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Defeating Repetitive Sin Bible Study For Men

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Defeating Repetitive Sin For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 9.99

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Mindset For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 9.99

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How To Study The Bible For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 9.99

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Action For Men

$ 8.99 – $ 9.99

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Vince Miller is an authentic and transparent leader who loves to communicate with men and has a deep passion for God’s Word. He has authored 16 books and small group curriculum for men.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

Why You Should Stop Lying

Posted on 09/27/201809/27/2018 by Vince Miller

27
Sep

Why You Should Stop Lying

Why it's always important to tell the truth and how we end up lying to ourselves.

"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." Ephesians 4:25

Truthfulness is one of the trademarks of God's character. And falsehood is one of the things he loathes. But truthfulness is frequently in short supply. It begins with a meager misrepresentation, and soon these fester and grow into blatantly lies. Rarely, however, do our meager misrepresentations remain small: they typically snowball, and we dismiss them in the process as if they don't make too much difference. But these fabrications do - both to God and to others.

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Truthfulness Reflects God's Character.
Lying is deception, and God never deceives. We rely on God's Word that it's trustworthy and true. If that were not the case, we would have no standard for morality in a world where everything is relative. The Scriptures declare that God's Words are true, righteous, eternal, and a light for our path. They are the plumb line for all that is righteous and holy. Therefore we believe in faith that God is truth and we ought to be the people of the truth.

Falsehoods Reflect the Evil One.
In John 8:44, Jesus declares that Satan is the father of lies and a murderer. Interestingly, murdering and lying are related: Murdering steals a life, and lying steals the truth, and both reflect the character of the Evil One. Every time we declare truthful what it is not (lie), we reflect Satan rather than God. This is why deception (which is what a lie is) is wrong. It's impossible for God to lie, but Satan by nature is the father of all lies.

Truth Builds Integrity and Trust.
Integrity is about being whole and undivided. The man of integrity is honest and truthful in all things which means that others can entirely trust his word at all times. People value an honest individual because they can be trusted. It's not surprising, but any reflection of God's character works every time. Lying fuels mistrust, while honesty fuels trust. Nothing destroys trust in a marriage faster than deception. Or in the workplace. Or with a friend. Or in a church. And nothing produces trust more than honesty in all things. Honest people can be trusted while dishonest people cannot.

And besides, those who are truthful with others are also truthful with themselves. Those who lie to others will find it easy to lie to themselves which is a prelude to personal failure. Those who are honest with themselves can learn and grow while those who do not simply gloss over their issues when it is convenient. Thus honesty and integrity apply equally to what we tell others and what we tell ourselves.

Vince Miller is a speaker, author, and mentor to men. He is an authentic and transparent leader who loves to communicate to audiences on the topics of mentorship, fathering, leadership and manhood. He has authored 13 books and small group curriculum for men and is the primary content creator of all Resolute materials. Contact Vince Miller here. His newest book is Thirty Virtues That Build A Man.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

How To Treat People You Just Don’t Like

Posted on 09/26/201809/27/2018 by Vince Miller

26
Sep

How To Treat People You Just Don't Like

Learning how to engage people we don't like who root for the other team.

We naturally gravitate toward the people we like. And often they look just like us. But how do we engage people who are not like us? Those who irritate us because they are so different in their personal views, or political opinions, or lifestyle choices that we tend to avoid, dismiss, or marginalize them? Most of us have a few of these people in our lives (and sometimes they're in our own families). While it's easy to avoid them what's the right approach for engaging these people in your life?

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Love was more important than political correctness.
Jesus, as God's son, obliterated religious "politically correctness" in his time offending many people including spiritual leaders. He spent time in the company of tax collectors and prostitutes, often avoided by religious leaders. He traveled through Samaria intentionally when devout Jews avoided that region and people group. He was even found talking to a woman, an odd behavior for a religious man, in the region of Samaria which astounded the disciples. In other words, Jesus spent time with the sick, shady, shamed, shunned and treated them each with love and respect aside from contemporary political correct behavior, and as a man, he set a new standard. Love, not to be misunderstood as acceptance, but genuine love.

Jesus was not in the least bit ashamed to be in the company of people different from himself. In fact, I think it is with these people he was most at home. Maybe because he knew that marginalized people would respond to his love and concern because they were left out by others. And many of them did. For Jesus, there was no one different enough for him not to befriend them. But there could be an even more valid reason for his love for people who were "different." I believe he knew something unique and special about every person he ever met.

But what did Jesus know?
Jesus knew that everyone he met had been created in the image of God. His Father was the Creator. And God, when he created mankind dis something extraordinary – he created us in "his image." You and I are image bearers of God even when we misshape that image with our sin. In important ways, we reflect God's design and his likeness to the world - and Jesus saw this in every person he met, even those possessed by sin and thus marginalized by others.

But here's the thing. Everyone we meet, no matter how despicable, irritating, or unworthy we find them is also made in God's image. Believer or not. Republican or Democrat. Gay or straight. Vikings, Bears, and even Packers fan, yes especially Packers fans are due our respect. We don't need to agree with them about everything or agree with their lifestyle or views but we do need to treat them as Jesus would – as made in God's image and therefore with dignity and respect.

So the next time you walk past someone or have an encounter with an individual who irritates you, remember: They are made in God's image just as we are and due the respect that Jesus gives them as image bearers no matter how flawed and broken.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

Connecting the Compass and the Clock

Posted on 09/26/2018 by Vince Miller

26
Sep

Connecting the Compass and the Clock

Planning, goals, strategies, and making the most of your time, rather than letting life pass you by.

There is one secret that everyone who lives intentionally, rather than accidentally, knows and practices. They know how to connect their compass with their clock. Let me explain.

Goal Setting Framework by Vince Miller of Resolute Mens Bible Studies

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The Compass.
Our compass is our annual plan that includes the Key Result Areas (KRA's) we have adopted and the goals we want to reach in each of those KRAs. They are our compass because they answer the question: Where do we want to go this year? It's when we pursue that plan on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis that we begin to see progress in our lives. Without a compass, we wander. With our compass, we know the direction we want to travel and have a good shot at getting there.

The Clock.
If the compass is our plan, then the clock is our calendar. What we put on our calendar represents our real priorities. You can tell a great deal about someone from looking at their calendar. Remember that time is our most precious commodity. Money will come and go. Opportunity will come and go. But time only goes. It is spent, and you can never get it back. So how we invest our time tells the story of what is most important to us. Not only that, but our time is a premium asset, so how we use, spend, or invest it is crucial.

Having a plan is a necessity to living intentionally. The key, however, is to connect our clock to our calendar. We live intentional lives when we place our priorities on the calendar. When I commit to spending time with my kids, that commitment must end up on my calendar where I have carved out the time to invest a reality.

Our Compass & Clock Permits Us to Say "No."
All of us are forced to make choices regularly on what we will spend our time doing. When we say "yes" to an invitation, we are writing a check - a time check. Just as we give attention to the financial checks we write, we also ought to pay attention to the time checks we write. We need to ask ourselves before we write a time check whether it fits our overall priorities and whether this obligation will compromise the true north represented in our Annual Plan.

Our compass allows us to graciously say "no" to obligations that don't fit our priorities. How many times have we said "yes" to things we regretted later? Our compass gives us permission and freedom to say "no" because we cannot allow our direction to be compromised by the urgent at the expense of the important.

For more tips on intentional living see Setting Annual Goals and Living Intentionally.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

Live Intentionally

Posted on 09/21/201809/21/2018 by Vince Miller

21
Sep

Live Intentionally

Stop living accidentally in the busyness of life and live with purpose by being intentional.

We live in a time of growing needs, multiplied demands, out of control schedules and a tendency to be driven by the urgent rather than the important. Over time our effectiveness is eroded merely because of our busyness, drive, and overfilled schedules. This leads to a reduction of mental, physical, and emotional stamina that leaves us tired, overwhelmed, and at a loss for a real purpose. Often in these moments, we sense that there must be a better way to live life. But this is the result of living accidentally rather than intentionally.

Here are three interesting observations. First, everyone is busy. Second, not everyone is getting the same results in their busy lives. Third, busyness does not equate to better results. Activity is just an activity. Focused, directed, and intentional action is what yields results.

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Download a worksheet you can use to build your own annual goals using my 8-F Framework.

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Accidental vs. intentional living.
All of us live somewhere on a continuum between accidentality and intentionality.

Accidental living can be identified by:

Structureless and reacting moment to moment.
Often emotionally bothered.
Limited advanced planning.
Unable to distinguish between urgent and essential.
Busy but not strategic.

Intentional living can be identified by:

Living with appropriate levels of structure.
Seldom emotional bothered.
Long and short-range advanced planning.
Distinguishes between urgent and essential.
Busy and strategic.

Intentional living requires a little forethought.
Here's a simple truth: All of us have the same amount of time, and we all make choices regarding how we will live. Those choices determine whether we accomplish much or little, live centered or chaotic, and conquer life or let it conquer us. Choosing to live intentionally is about building a life around carefully crafted purposes and priorities, which requires a plan that produces a sense of personal fulfillment and influence for the kingdom. But be mindful you only need a little forethought each day. We are not talking about hours of planning. It could start with glimpsing at your schedule at the start of each week and asking yourself "What do I want to accomplish this week?" And then following this by each day setting small goals that drive you toward your weekly goal. This doesn't require days of planning but only a minor level of forethought. (For more, see my blog on Setting Annual Goals).

Intentional living requires a base plan.
There is no intentionality without intention. I know deep right? As I outlined in my blog Setting Annual Goals, this requires us to identify the Key Result Areas (KRAs) in our lives and develop goals within those KRAs for accomplishing results in those areas. It's simple, measurable, and specific. Just as we would never initiate a significant business endeavor without a plan, it would be equally foolish to navigate the life without a plan. So a commitment to intentional living is a commitment to live our lives with a plan and a framework to accomplish that plan. A plan, even a simple one, moves us from intention toward action and to living out what we believe to be most important.

Take a moment to review the characteristics again of accidental living and intentional living and determine which one is more like your life. Then, with the help of my blog Setting Annual Goals, start moving toward greater intentionality.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

Setting Annual Goals

Posted on 09/20/201809/21/2018 by Vince Miller

20
Sep

Setting Annual Goals

How I set my goals and crush them every year. Try these easy steps and download an easy-to-use resource.

When talking about setting annual goals for ourselves, I am not referring to the typical "New Year's Resolutions" that get left by the wayside within weeks of the new year. Instead, I am referring to a way of living that identifies what's important and establishing a plan around those priorities that is workable and specific.

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Set goals with Key Result Areas (KRAs) in mind.
Key Result Areas (KRA) are the areas of our lives that we want to give special attention that holds potential for producing the greatest holistic results. I have identified eight KRAs that I give attention to when determining my annual goals: Faith; Family; Friends; Fitness; Food; Fun; Finances and Future. I know that if I pay proper attention to these eight KRAs that I will be on track to living a holistic and healthy life. Your KRAs may differ, but I believe in focusing on behavioral results that center around character development in these KRAs.

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Download a worksheet you can use to build your own annual goals using my 8-F Framework.

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Set goals with annual targets.
Once I have identified my KRA's I develop annual goals for each of them – generally with two to five items that I am committed to targeting in each. These are specific goals which can be measured so I can monitor whether they have been done. My goal is to set a target in each that stretch me but can be accomplished somewhere within the year. Remember the annual plan must be specific and measurable so that you feel like it will get done or it doesn't.

Set goals and review weekly + assess monthly = crushed goals.
On a weekly basis, I read my goals to remind myself of the commitments I have made. This builds natural reminders into the rhythm of my life at the end of one week and the start of another. Monthly, I take some extended time to assess how I am doing in each area, giving attention to where I need to adjust my approach and areas where I am falling short of my goals. With my journal, I can make some observations and any changes that I need to consider. With this weekly and monthly review, there is never any reason that I should forget what is truly important in my life.

Why use KRAs and annual plans? For this simple reason. I want to live intentionally rather than accidentally, and I suspect you do too. It is how Jesus lived, and it is how He desires us to live. And you don't need to wait till the new year to start. Identify your key result areas now and develop a plan for the rest of the year. Then annually update your strategy for each area.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders

FOMO and Our Desire For More

Posted on 09/18/2018 by Vince Miller

18
Sep

FOMO and Our Desire For More

How to move from fear and want toward abundance and contentment with all the riches our life has to offer.

Most of us love the feeling of abundance, and at the same time, we're challenged when we have less than we wish we had. Houses, stuff, entertainment, opportunities, and success that we perceive others have can create a selfish desire for more that leaves us with a sense of vague unhappiness. Some call this FOMO or the "fear of missing out." Stop and consider this question for a moment: Do you wish right now that you had more or are you content with what God has given you today?

But don't overthink this question, because your answer should not conclude that it is wrong to have dreams about your future. Those are natural and normal. It does mean, however, that we don't see our present situation as a place of perpetual want that consumes and misleads our desires.

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Abundance is a matter of perspective.
Anyone who has traveled to a developing country and seen abject poverty comes back to the reality that North America has a ton of stuff and opportunity compared to the rest of the world. It's enough to give us a new level of appreciation for how God has given this country profound material wealth. Just consider this: You yearn for a new home, that is larger and better when much of the world has no permanent resident. We even have houses for our cars called garages, that are larger than most other people's homes in other countries. And anyone making over $100,000 is in the top one half of one percent of the wealth in our world. 54% of our society lives on three dollars or less per day.

A lifestyle of thanksgiving fosters an attitude of abundance.
Everything we have is a gift from a loving father. Pay attention to how often Scripture talks about being thankful in all things. Paul advises us in Ephesians 5:20 to be "giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." The Psalms are full of both thanksgiving as well as the goodness of God. A great 15-minute exercise is reading Ephesians 1 and 2 and note every gift we have been given "in Christ." Many of us live out of a spirit of wanting not understanding the riches we already have "in Jesus Christ." Make it a practice to daily thank God for all the gifts he gives, all the blessings you encounter, all the provision you receive. It all comes from him, and he is generous beyond anything we deserve. We might even say he is generous enough.

Generosity creates an attitude of abundance.
Here is an ironic truth. The more I hold on to my stuff the more I feel that I need more and the more I share what I have with others, the more I appreciate what God has already given. It is in giving back to God and others that we start to understand his care for us entirely and we begin to see life through a lens of abundance rather than want. All of God's children can live in abundance if we see life from God's perspective!

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The 8-F Goal Setting Framework

Posted on 09/14/201809/21/2018 by Vince Miller

14
Sep

8-F Goal Setting Framework

So, people, each year ask me how I establish and crush my goals. Here's how I do it.

I choose to establish a goal setting framework that is focused on character, behaviors, thoughts and measurable action that strengthens me as a man. Not one that focuses on a single aspect of success, (i.e., work) but wholistic success that will round me out as a man of God. I read my goals weekly, monitor them monthly, give effort continuously, and focus on long-term annual gains, not immediate results. Choose to steal mine framework, modify mine, or make your own - but as I say "don't do nothing."

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Download a worksheet you can use to build your own annual goals using my 8-F Framework.

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FAITH:

Reading - Reading from the Bible each day.
Prayer - Pray regularly for my wife, children, and Elliott to be bold and courageous.
Reflection - Monitor emotions, mindsets, and corrupt beliefs about self.

FAMILY:

Spouse - Be caring in communication & active in romance.
Children - Be regularly patient & teaching at each opportunity, and send the Dad’s Daily Devo to the family.

FRIENDS:

Meaningful Time - Schedule trips to Maui, HI and Vail, CO with buds.
Communication - Nourish friendship through texting, communication, and social media.

FITNESS:

Running - One time each week 3-7 miles.
Crossfit - Four times each week be in the box and give a full effort
Care - Listen carefully to my body when aching or hurting, and stretch regularly.

FOOD:

Calories - Moderate my caloric intake as appropriate for size, age, and needed energy.
Balance - Eat balanced macros focusing on increased protein, remove wheat and gluten from diet.

FUN:

Adventure - Do one adventurous thing monthly.

FINANCES:

Income - Increase speaking engagement and book sales attaining goals each month.
Expense - Watch spending and moderate, pray every time I pull the card out.

FUTURE:

Handoff - Focus the next 10 years on multiplication, scalability, and sustainability of work.
Age Groups - Turn my focus on younger generations and empowering them.
Network - Build growing relationships with challenging mentors, request the first meeting when I find one.
Writing - Write two more books this year.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Leaders, Mentoring

Why We Should Avoid Gossip

Posted on 09/14/201809/14/2018 by Vince Miller

14
Sep

Why We Should Avoid Gossip

Three reasons we should avoid gossip in our conversations with others.

All of us have done it, and it is a constant temptation: gossiping about others. In putting others down (which is what gossip is), we seek to elevate self, show off our knowledge of inside information, and injure those who are an irritant to us. The dictionary defines gossip as "casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true." Gossip is found in the workplace, between friends, in the church and wherever people are located. But why should gossip be banished from our conversations?

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First | Gossip displeases God.
Paul addresses what Christian conversation ought to look like in Ephesians 4:29. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Sharing information about others that is corrupting to another person is not edifying. Even negative news that we may know to be true, shared with uninvolved parties does not build others up according to their needs. Often, we use corrupting talk as a means to shame others and build ourselves up.

Second | Gossip is often character assassination.
Think about it. We would never assassinate another person, but we have assassinated the character of others when we have engaged in gossip. Assassinating someone's character creates negative perceptions by those around them who often accept the gossip they have heard as truth. And all too often gossip grows as it is shared until the real situation (which we are probably not privy to anyway) does not reflect reality. In essence, we are trafficking the sin at the misfortune of others. And, unfortunately, it is often not even entirely true, but only a partial truth and a judgment about the motivation of others.

Third | Gossip is destructive to relationships.
I have never seen gossip not adversely affect relationships between people. This is true in marriage, families, business, politics, and the church. Think of the supervisor or boss who is the subject of gossip by others. Do you think they are not affected? Or consider the pastor who does things exactly your way, and is the subject of comical ridicule, do you think he is not impacted by your private conversations? Or the man person who has just experienced a tragic fail, do you think your gossip is helpful for him? Those who traffic in gossip are like arsonists who start fires and then moving on to watch the victim deal with the consequences of the burn.

But the bottom line is that gossip is destructive on many levels and often impossible for the subject of our gossip to change the perceptions shared. In gossiping about them, we wound others and create distance in relationships. But a right word has the power to encourage, heal, support, and mend the brokenhearted.

Proverbs 26:20 reads, "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases."

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God Uses Broken Men

Posted on 09/13/201809/14/2018 by Vince Miller

13
Sep

God Uses Broken Men

Regardless of what you think about yourself, or what you think other people think about you, God is still using men like you. Even when you're broken, bruised and beaten up.

I love reading about the men God used in the Bible. They are rarely the ones I think he would use. Think about Moses. He had an anger problem which led him to kill an Egyptian official, which resulted in him running for his life. He went from being in the hierarchy of the Egyptian palace to be a hired shepherd in the valley. And then when God thrust him into leadership, he complained that he didn't have the verbal or persuasive skills necessary to confront the Pharaoh. (I assume some people today would say he had a bit of a self-esteem problem.) Add to this his issues with his family of origin: abandonment; adoption; raised by a Pharaoh who oppressed his people. Had Prozac been available, I imagine Moses would have been first in line. God used him to lead the most significant movement in the Bible: The Exodus. What can we learn from stories like this about how God uses men?

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First | God is not hindered by our past failings.
Did you get that? Moses was an emotional wreck at times, and God still used him. He was a wimp at times, and God still used him. Some days he wanted to give up, and God still used him. He was overwhelmed, and guess what - yep God still used him. And other characters were much the same. David was an adulterer, murderer, and liar. Paul imprisoned and persecuted Christians. Abraham lied about Sarah being his wife, twice: and the list could go on. But why did God continue to use them? Because they had a heart for him in spite of their failures and faults - and we all have ours. Only God can redeem every part of our biography no matter how bad and refashion it for his purposes. No person and no one's story is exempt.

Second | God uses ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary work.
Why? Because when God calls us to do something for him, he gives us what we need to accomplish it. In other words, it's never about us and always about him, his power, and his purposes. In First Corinthians 1:27 Paul writes, "But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong." In other words, he uses ordinary people like us so that it is evident that God's extraordinary power is responsible for any success we have. Nice move God; more of you and less of us.

Third | God desires is a willing man.
Most of us think we not qualified for ministry. We almost impulsively disqualify ourselves. And we are wrong to do this. All of us are called to use our gifts for God. What God wants from us is a heart that wants what God wants. In First Samuel 16:7, we read these words of God as Samuel selects the next man to be king. "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." God is still seeking men with heart, a heart for him. Therefore we can see God's prerequisite is not perfection but the willingness of heart, and yes in spite of our biographies that others see. The cool part is that he takes the good, bad, and ugly of our story and uses it for his purposes.

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5 Steps To Accountability

Posted on 09/06/201809/13/2018 by Vince Miller

06
Sep

5 Steps To Accountability

How to build accountability into your spiritual life with a plan that promises to produce greater spiritual returns.

In spite of the popular image of the rogue male individualist - the "Jason Bourne" type - God designed us for relationships. Even the strongest and most rugged of us need other men to live life well and to gain spiritual traction. Here are some ways that each of us can build accountability into our spiritual lives.

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One | Quit avoiding relationships.
Men can be intensely private about their inner lives. Sometimes this protective privateness is just plain old pride. A pride that keeps us from getting in touch with our deeper needs or taking the step of sharing these needs because they expose our weaknesses. In fact, when it comes to accountability in our spiritual lives, it is often the mere sin of pride that prevents advancement. Humility says, "I need to be in a relationship," while pride says, "I don't want to expose myself." This issue is directly related to the second truth.

Two | Invite honest feedback.
As humble men, we should be willing to invite feedback so that we can get help where we struggle. The first step is admitting this to ourselves – rather than pretending otherwise – and the second step is inviting others in to help. We only invite this feedback when we have authentic and trusting relationships with other Christ-following men.

Three | Ask for specific accountability.
There is no Christian who doesn't need accountability. All of us have different struggles and unique vulnerabilities, and without authentic relationships with others, we will never become better men. But here is the thing about accountability - you have to be specific to see specific results. You have two paths to choose from on this one. You can avoid specific accountability and take the easy road. Or you can start asking for specific accountability and take the harder road. But it's the harder road that produces better results. When we invite another man to hold us accountable in areas of weakness, while it might be embarrassing, or even painful to make the needed changes, this is the hard road to positive change. Accountability must be specific and measurable, so we know when we win and we lose.

Four | Make accountability positive.
We often resist traditional accountability because it reminds us of an authoritarian relationship. But accountability is not just about obeying rules, being disciplined, or being made to feel inadequate. There is another way of looking at accountability which is far more positive. It is one that asks questions like, "Can we mutually encourage each other as we follow Jesus?" Keep in mind the New Testament writers tells us numerous time to "encourage one another." Turn accountability from a negative experience to a positive one.

Five | Define small marks of success.
We will never "arrive" in our spiritual life until we see Jesus. However, every small step we take to grow in Christ builds on every other small step we have taken, and all of those incremental steps lead to significant growth on our part. Celebrate those incremental steps! Philippians 3:16, Paul makes an interesting statement. He says, "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." In other words, live what we know and keep on growing. These suggestions can help you live what you know.