They Don’t Get It

Posted on 11/24/201811/23/2018 by Vince Miller

24
Nov

Why Don't My Friends Get My Stance On Faith?

"The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned." 1 Corinthians 2:14

When you were young in your faith, I bet you asked yourself more than one time why your friends did not understand your decision for faith in Christ. I bet many times when you took a stand; they seemed bewildered. Maybe because you were not joining in particular jokes, practicing the common language, or attending the recent events. But do not be surprised. The "natural person" does not understand. Your stand is like foolishness to them. They have not had the same awakening; therefore they are not yet "spiritually discerned." So stand fast my friend. Be resolute in your commitment, and you might sway them to the faith that they do not currently get.

DO THIS: Be discerning and stand fast.

PRAYER: God, be with my friends today who don't understand my faith, and help me to stand fast under pressure to participate in my former way of life.

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The Value of Discernment

Posted on 11/23/201811/22/2018 by Vince Miller

23
Nov

The Value Of Discernment

"My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble." Proverbs 3:21-23.

It's essential to keep certain things always within reach. Two of those things are sound "wisdom and discretion." They are essentials you will want to possess and build for a lifetime. They are not passing skills, talents, and gifts. Instead, they are attributes of God's man. They guide the inner workings of your desires and are readily seen by others. Grow in them daily, and they will guide you and keep you from failure.

DO THIS: Learn to value wisdom and seek discernment.

PRAYER: God, I don't always make the best choices. But I want to. Please give me the wisdom and discretion of Solomon. Make me rich in truth.

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Blog, Character, Marriage, Podcast, Sex, Sin

Purity In Our Opposite-Sex Relationships

Posted on 09/26/201812/21/2018 by Vince Miller

26
Sep

Purity In Our Opposite-Sex Relationships

Why our conduct with women matters today, and God's standard for what men call "locker room talk."

The topic of sexual ethics is getting a lot of press today. Maybe because men are behaving so poorly in their interactions with people, but also because the #MeToo movement is highlighting this. But issues of this nature shouldn't surprise us given the increase and even constant bombardment of sexual themes on radio, television, and the prolific presence of pornography on the web. And it raises the question, in an age of sexual bombardment, "How should a man of God conduct himself sexually with men and women in life?"

God's standard is not a hint.
Consider these words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:3-4. "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving."

The NIV reads this way, "not even a hint," which is the standard for a follower of Christ. We don't need a #MeToo movement, because God has given us the #notevenahint mandate that implies impurity of any kind, including sexual impurity, is just not compatible with God's plan nor our holiness. Sexual expression, while permissible, has appropriate boundaries in the Bible. And while contemporary radio, television, and the web attempt to redefine these boundaries by turning sexual acts, innuendos, and joking into entertainment this does not infer that their limits (or lack of them) are appropriate for conduct among followers of Christ.

Purity is the aim.
"Not a hint," means that our relationships with women are to be pure and respectful as if all women were our relatives, siblings, mother, or grandmother for that matter. We should be protective of women who are made in God's image as if we are relatives to them – never exploitive, condescending, or treat them as objects. In fact, as Christians, we are called to treat all people with honor and respect. And whenever a relationship with a woman, other than our spouse, becomes sensitive, suggestive, sensual, or sexual in talk or touch we should back out, regardless the cost, because it is a violation of God's standard of purity. Case in point: Joseph and Potiphar's wife. While Joseph ran from her sexual advances, which was right, there was a price to pay, which was high. But this cost was not as high as paying the price of integrity, holiness, and purity.

Locker room talk is not acceptable.
Both men and women are capable of vulgar sexual conversation with friends. You have heard both genders engage in hypersexual talk, as have I. Men often write it off as "locker room talk," as if there is a place where such language and conversation is acceptable. We do this because we falsely believe the lie that, "men will be men." But if the standard is that our lives display "not even a hint" of sexual immorality or any impurity, this is not a conversation that we should ever be party to. We are temples of the Holy Spirit, and anywhere we go, and wherever we have a discussion, God is there, and we grieve him when that conversation is impure or immoral. Locker room talk has no place in the life of a Godly man.

The next time you are in a situation where language, attitudes or actions cross a line into impurity remind yourself: Not even a hint.

Vince Miller is a speaker, author, and mentor to men. He is an authentic and transparent leader who loves to communicate to audiences on the topics of mentorship, fathering, leadership and manhood. He has authored 13 books and small group curriculum for men and is the primary content creator of all Resolute materials. Contact Vince Miller here. His newest book is Thirty Virtues That Build A Man.

Advanced Tips, Blog, Character, Leaders, Leading, Mentoring

How To Study The Bible

Posted on 08/29/201810/05/2019 by Vince Miller

29
Aug

How To Study The Bible

Three simple steps to successfully studying the Bible on your own. An age-old and time-tested method that will make you look as smart as your pastor.

Let's face it. Many of us find the idea of personal Bible study daunting! Especially if we haven't done it before. Don't you have to be a trained theologian to study scripture effectively? Nope! The truth is that while there are truths that we will never fully grasp because God is so amazingly great, His word is understandable for all of us, especially if we take the time to study it on a regular basis. So, what is the secret to studying the Bible on our own?

Three Simple Steps To Bible Study:
Three primary questions should be asked about any passage we are studying.

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One: Observation – What does the passage say?

This step may seem straightforward, but that isn't always true. Many of us bring our own theological biases to our reading of Scripture because we have been told what our theological grid ought to be. All of our "grids" are deficient in some way, so it's essential to allow the text to speak for itself. Just ask the question, "What does it say?"

Two: Interpretation – What does the passage mean?

This step involves discerning the author's main thought or idea behind what he is writing. So, you want to pay attention to the five C's here: What was the context of the passage; are there cross-references where the Bible talks about the same issue (scripture interprets scripture); what was the cultural context in that day; what is your conclusion as to what the passage means and if necessary consult a commentary where you have additional questions. While that may sound complicated, it isn't, and most of the time the meaning will be evident quickly.

Three: Application – What am I going to do about what the passage means and says?

This step is where first-time readers begin rather than end. They love to know the truths of Scripture, but they don't relish applying those truths that are inconvenient. But Scripture study without personal application is a waste of time and does not honor God. The good news is that God always blesses any effort we make to bring our lives into conformity with His Word. And His Holy Spirit will help us make that a reality if we are committed to the simple principle of taking God at His word and following His commands and teaching.

There are few more exciting things than to discover God to understand His plan for our lives and to see His character become our character. The book of Proverbs describes the process as being like a miner who searches for silver and gold and finds it after hard work. Every nugget in their search is a reward, and every nugget of truth discovered in Scripture is our reward as it is applied and lived out.

As you engage in your mining of God's word, keep a journal and jot down your discoveries. Then pray over those discoveries that God would help you apply the truths you found to your life.

Vince Miller is an author and speaker to men around the world on topics that include manhood, masculinity, fatherhood, mentorship, and leadership. He has authored 16 different books for men and is hosted on major video platforms like RightNow Media and Faithlife TV. He hosts a weekly podcast, writes weekly articles, and provides daily thoughts from God's Word all just for men. He is a 27-year ministry veteran and the founder of Resolute a Men's Ministry Platform that provides bible studies aimed at building better men found at www.beresolute.org

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Be The Man In The Arena

Posted on 08/23/201808/24/2018 by Vince Miller

23
Aug

Be The Man In The Arena

Three declarations for the man in the arena who feels the agony of defeat.

It is one of the most inspiring quotes of all time.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." President Theodore Roosevelt.

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Declaration One | Failure Is Imminent.

It's a pretty good picture of life. We fail all the time: we speak words we wish we could take back; reactions we want to do over; marriages we wish we could have saved; decisions that were foolish and got us into trouble; or endure circumstances that deal us a bad hand. Fallen people do fallen things, and a fallen world deals out fallen conditions, but God is always present, always redeems, and is waiting for us to trust him, get back up and continue to press on.

Declaration Two | Jesus Gets It.

The writer of Hebrews says this about Jesus. "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Why can we get up again when we've failed? Because we endure knowing he has lived in our shoes. Nothing we face is a surprise to him. He gets it, and he gets us. At his throne, there is always grace and always mercy. It is why we can approach him with confidence in our time of need and know he is in our corner and wants to help us move on.

Declaration Three | Keep Moving Forward.

What do you need to keep moving forward today? Are you holding on to some failure or some circumstance in life that is holding you back and preventing you from moving forward in your Christian life? Today, take it to the throne of grace, give it to God and then get up from the arena floor, dust yourself off and move forward again - in his grace.

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Becoming An Ironman

Posted on 08/23/201808/23/2018 by Vince Miller

23
Aug

Becoming An Ironman

Learning how to run the race set before us as iron men.

It is a hard-won designation: Ironman. It indicates that you completed a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride, and a marathon 26.22 run without a break. And you finished in under 17 hours. It is one of the premier endurance competitions on planet earth, and it takes preparation, discipline, and resolve to complete.

And Jesus demonstrated this kind of resolve during his life on planet earth. This is the reason I chose "resolute" as the title for this ministry because it describes who Jesus was so well. Resolved. Resolute. It's a word taken from Luke 9:51, "As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem." At this point in his 3-year ministry, he is no longer quiet about who he is or what he is going to do. He is resolved. And from here he progressively gets stronger, clearer, and firmer in his conviction. He is on a direct course to the cross and set to fulfill his mission. This word, "resolute" describes the man I want to be - an ironman for Jesus.

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Becoming a man of iron.

I want to be a man of iron like Jesus: going the distance; living with resolve; giving total effort; focusing on the goal; possessing the discipline need to complete the race God has before me.

So what does this look like for you?

While there are differences between you and me in our gifting, there are some constants for all men as we become iron men.

First: Ironmen embrace their title.

We live with the daily realization that our lives do not belong to us but to Christ. Anyone competing in the Ironman knows that his life, and therefore identity, belongs to the title of the race. That no obstacle can get in the way of the preparation, discipline, and resolve needed to compete in the competition because the title of the competition is who they become. In the same way, our lives, and therefore identity belongs to Christ. This means that our identity must be fully attentive to the daily discipline that prepares this identity. Each day belongs to him, not us. And each day we form more to his training, as we run the race set before us.

Second: Ironmen are resilient.

While and Ironman competitor will eventually stumble along the way, the ironman will always come back for more. More practice, more effort, and more improvement. With Christ, as we become more aware and attentive to the Holy Spirit's work in our lives, we stumble with an attitude of resilience, seek forgiveness, and move forward in grace.

Third: Ironmen are finishers.

You cannot be an ironman if you do not finish in the allotted time. And we find accomplishment of going the distance for Christ. No one who competes in the Ironman would tell you that it is easy. It can be arduous, and it will take all a man can give. But anyone who finishes has the satisfaction that they did it. We completed the race! And the Ironman for Christ is one who knows he will finish from the moment he starts. Running is done with the confidence that finishing is imminent.

Just before Jesus died on the cross, he said, "It is finished." He stated that He had completed the resolute race the Father had given him. I want to be able to say that at the end of my life. How about you?

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Brave-hearted Men

Posted on 08/21/201808/21/2018 by Vince Miller

21
Aug

Brave-hearted Men

Becoming a brave-hearted man, when the moment calls for courage.

As men, we relate to the tale of Braveheart! Instinctively we are drawn to Sir William Wallace's courage as he avenges the death of his bride and revolts against the King of England whose troops had pillaged, raped, and killed his people unjustly. William had a cause that he was willing to give himself to entirely; one that would cost him his life. It has become a classic story of courage in the face of injustice.

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Joshua: An Old Testament Braveheart
There is a Braveheart type figure in the Old Testament – Joshua - who was Moses's successor. God's charge to Joshua reminds us of Sir William Wallace's charge: "Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:6-9)."

Joshua had a history of being courageous. He was one of twelve spies Moses sent to spy out the land of Israel forty years prior. Only two spies of the twelve - Joshua and Caleb - dared to bring back a favorable report about the land. The other ten cowards convinced the people that it was too dangerous, and thus the people rebelled against God. For Joshua the answer was simple. God told us to take the land, and God will ensure we are successful.

So what is real courage?
Now as Joshua inherits the leadership baton from Moses, God tells Joshua to be strong and very courageous, and He connects courage with following the Word of God in the Scriptures: "Do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go."

Real courage is the willingness to follow God even when it seems dangerous or irrational to others (like the other ten spies). It takes courage to open your life to other men and allow them to help you live a Godly life (courage to be transparent). It takes courage to be the spiritual leader of my home (courage to become a servant leader). It takes courage to admit that I need help to overcome my lustful thoughts (courage to overcome shame). It takes courage to honor God with our finances and give back to Him (courage when you feel short on resources).

Jesus calls us to live courageously.
When Jesus says, "Follow me," he's calling us to a life of courage. Courage to go against the flow. Courage to take Him at his word. Courage to follow his commands, with the knowledge that he will be with us wherever we go.

Is there an area in your life today where God has been talking to you, and you need the courage to say, "I will do it?"

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13 Lessons Learned From Hybels Moral Failure

Posted on 08/17/201808/15/2018 by Vince Miller

17
Aug

13 Lessons Learned From Hybels Moral Failure

Thirteen lessons I have learned from the failure of Bill Hybels and the Willow Creek Board.

I am sure that many of us have been reflecting on the events at Willow Creek Community Church. Let me share some of my reflections and observations as to lessons that the church at large can learn from this.

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THIRTY VIRTUES THAT BUILD A MAN. It’s an uncomplicated spiritual growth and mentorship guide to becoming more Christ-like. And it’s backed by the research of over 1,500 men we surveyed. Use it solo or in a group to build better men.

One

There are no perfect organizations, churches, or people. We are all broken in public or private ways. And we all need grace and truth.

Two

Never assume that any Christian leader is above sin or failure. Apart from God's grace we also are vulnerable.

Three

Ministry and church boards need to hold their leaders and themselves accountable for behavior regardless of their significance, size, or success.

Four

Ministry boards are far better off when they embrace the truth rather than try to spin information to protect themselves, their reputation, or their leaders.

Five

If we don't police our sinful tendencies and are not honest about them, then we run the risk of failure. No one is exempt from attacks from the enemy, and we cannot stand alone.

Six

Hidden sin inevitably becomes public. Deal with it now rather than hoping it will remain unknown. The shame will be hard, but the hiding it further can be catastrophic.

Seven

Church boards are accountable to the congregation and God, not exclusively their senior leader and his opinion, ideas, and visions. When a board does not hear and act on the information the congregation and God give them, they will eventually be found out and lose their credibility.

Eight

It takes courage to serve on a church board when the truth must be spoken. You may be considered unpopular, but silence is agreement. It usually takes at least one courageous person to open a robust dialogue.

Nine

The failure of a leader impacts everyone. It does not just hurt the staff team, it impacts the congregation, it impedes the vision, and it discredits the church at large.

Ten

All of us need a group of safe men with whom we can be completely honest about our struggles. Struggling alone is a recipe for failure.

Eleven

God can redeem but only if we come clean. True repentance isn't easy as it removes pride and requires humility. But God heals the broken and uses them when they fully submit to him.

Twelve

The Willow Creek lessons will be leadership and governance fodder for years to come. Listen carefully to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, so you or your church does not become a negative illustration as well.

Thirteen

Never discount an accusation of abuse charged against a leader. The wounded don't need to be wounded again by disbelief and dismissal.

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What The Board Of Willow Creek Did Wrong

Posted on 08/15/201811/30/2018 by Vince Miller

15
Aug

What The Board Of Willow Creek Did Wrong

The three fundamental failures of the Willow Creek board and the lessons we can learn and avoid in the church.

The recent resignation of the entire board of Willow Creek Community Church is not a surprise. It was inevitable given its governance errors in dealing with Bill Hybels, and the accusations against him. Especially enlightening is that the congregation applauded when the current board announced it would step down. I am confident this applause was not intended as antagonistic, but a recognition that it would take a new board to move forward. I believe that the board failed in three crucial areas. Each area of failure made the situation more critical, not less.

NEW BOOK: THE BEST MEN'S DEVOTIONAL WE'VE CREATED SO FAR.

Failure One: Willow's board did not hold their leader accountable.
If anyone was a superstar in the Christian leadership arena, Bill Hybels was. Perhaps this is a contributing factor to why the board allowed itself to be manipulated by Bill to downplay the severity of the accusations against him. Also, Bill is known to be an influential figure who has proven challenging to object as a leader.

The allegations against Bill date back several years, and even with those accusations and credible voices, the board failed to hold Bill accountable for actions that would eventually bring about his resignation. Every leader needs to be held accountable, and boards that are not willing to keep their leader accountable are weak and ineffective boards.

Failure Two: Willow's board did not take the allegations against Bill Hybels seriously causing additional pain to the victimized.
Can you imagine being one of the victims who took the courageous step to come forward only to be called a liar (directly or indirectly)? In a place that should be safe – the church – it felt unsafe to many victims and whistleblowers. Amazingly, some of the accusations came from well-known women who had served the church faithfully for years, and the board listened with a voice of disbelief and dismissal. Willow Creek, the model ministry for many others, failed the "#MeToo" test. While I am sure the vigorous denials of Bill played a role in their failure to listen, the board is ultimately responsible for not acting as multiple individuals came forward with a story. In the process, they made the pain of victims and their families that much more significant.

Failure Three: Willow's board destroyed its credibility by protecting Bill Hybels.
When in damage control mode, many boards go into damage control mode where spin is more important than truth. Those watching from the outside scratched their heads in amazement as the board made pronouncements to the congregation only to need to clarify and modify in the next announcement. And the next!

Ironically the best way to protect a congregation is to tell the whole truth when situations like this occur. At least there can be confidence in the leadership to be up front even if the administration has failed. In this case, because of how they handled the situation, Bill Hybels, the board, and his successors all ended up without the trust of the congregation and resigned. A massive blow to the already wounded church. What was complicated and ugly became even more complicated as trust in all leadership is now gone!

If you serve on a ministry board, be an advocate for transparency wherever the chips may fall. Falsehoods or cover-ups do not help God they are only fuel for the enemy.

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Bill Hybels And Moral Failure In A Leader

Posted on 08/14/201808/14/2018 by Vince Miller

14
Aug

Bill Hybels And Moral Failure In A Leader

What lessons can we learn from the moral failure of another leader?

The news from Willow Creek over the past few months has been ugly and distressing. An icon of a church leader (Bill Hybels) resigned amidst a growing number of accusations. The elder board who defended him has resigned because of lost credibility. The senior leader and preaching pastor put in place by Bill Hybels have also resigned because of the fallout. What was a model of ministry for decades is now reeling in pain, and it will take a long time before healing can take place. So, what can we learn from the Bill Hybels story?

NEW BOOK: THE BEST MEN'S DEVOTIONAL WE'VE CREATED SO FAR.

One | You are vulnerable to sin.
If we take anything away from this, it needs to include our vulnerability to sin. We are sinners saved by grace, but we are always vulnerable in our areas of weakness to allow sin a foothold in our lives. Peter writes that "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world." 1 Peter 5:8-9. We cannot take him lightly or our propensity to sin. And Satan will tempt us in our area of greatest vulnerability.

I'm sad that Bill Hybels fell into what looks like a long pattern of sexual sin. I'm sad for the victims, and I'm sad for the church and the reputation of Jesus. At the same time, I am fully aware that it could have been you or me. All of us are vulnerable to sin if we do not observe our lives.

Two | Get some buds; they're called brothers.
One of the most important practices we can have is to cultivate a few close friendships where we are able and willing to talk honestly about our struggles. Too many men try to struggle alone, especially with sexual sin because of our shame. Pornography, lustful thoughts, unfaithfulness to our spouse are often the result. We all know it doesn't work! What does make all the difference is a group of trusted men we can talk with candidly in a place of grace and safety to encourage us in our Christian walk and moral purity.

Safeguarding our hearts is another key to dealing with our sinful tendencies. Unless we are proactively seeking God we will remain vulnerable, The apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." What are you doing on a daily basis to become more transformed by the renewing of your mind? It certainly starts with time in the Word of God and prayer.

Three | God is in the redemption business.
David is called "a man after God's own heart," and yet he was guilty of murder, lying, trying to cover up his sin and duplicity in the adultery he committed with Bathsheba. How can that be? It is because the grace of God is always greater than our sin and God is a God of redemption, mercy, and forgiveness when we come to him in humility, truth, and repentance. Failure need not be final even when our sin is great. But first, we need to come clean, speak the truth, take responsibility and live with a repentant heart as David did in Psalm 51. I hope Bill Hybels will take this route. And I hope each of us will when dealing with our sin.

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Become A Man Of Dangerous Faith

Posted on 08/11/2018 by Vince Miller

11
Aug

Becoming A Man Of Dangerous Faith

Discover a faith that is exhilarating and masculine.

What does it mean to live a life of faith?

It's not just believing in Christ although that's vital. It's not just church attendance or being in a small group although that's important. And it's not just how much of the Bible we know although that's also needed. Faith is the willingness to recklessly follow Jesus where he calls us, to do what he commands, and trust him with our lives even when it feels awkward and doesn't meet our expectations.

NEW BOOK: THE BEST MEN'S DEVOTIONAL WE'VE CREATED SO FAR.

One | Faith Is Responding To God's Promptings.
When God told Abraham to leave his homeland for a place that he would show him, Abraham had no idea where he was going. He didn't have a G.P.S. to guide him, couldn't Google the directions, and didn't even have access to one of those old-fashioned trifold laminated maps to chart his journey. Instead, he went on a walk of faith, trusted God, and followed Him. And he did this not knowing what the journey would hold or knowing what awaited him at his destination. But he did have faith in the God he knew well. When God prompts us about something in our lives, the man of faith says, "I will follow." And he follows when the journey feels uncertain, mysterious, scary, and requires risk. But hold fast because our faith is in a God who loves us and who is more real than the challenges we face.

Two | Faith Is Choosing God's Way Over My Way.
Many men look up to Christian leaders who know and can effectively communicate Scripture. But, I have even greater respect for men who know Scripture and act on it. And even more respect for the men, who in moments of decision choose God's way over their way. Faith is the willingness to choose God's way even when the rest of the world does not. This is never more challenging than in moments when it following God will require risk and inconvenience that cost us something. The purpose of studying God's Word is not solely to gain knowledge but to know our God and to live under his lordship ad in his way.

Three | Faith Is An Invitation To Live Adventurously.
Men love adventure. We are made by God to need a challenge and to live on the edge. There is nothing more exhilarating than to live on the side of faith where we choose to follow a dangerous God who calls us to dangerous things and then gives us the strength and wisdom to get there. Here is a dangerous saying: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." (Proverbs 3:5-7). That is the life of dangerous faith.

Where is God calling you today to an adventure of faith? Will you take the challenge?

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The Route To Better Intimacy With Your Spouse

Posted on 08/07/201808/07/2018 by Vince Miller

07
Aug

The Route To Better Intimacy With Your Spouse

Get more results. A surprising route to better intimacy that will pay great dividends.

Do I have your attention?

Greater intimacy with our spouse is what we all want. To men, this usually means one thing - sex. To women, this usually means something different - quality time. But these are generalizations. But what if I could suggest a path to intimacy that would build a deeper bond that you both might agree with? And no men, it's not the combo platter of "more quality sex time."

Here is something you probably haven't considered - engaging in daily prayer with your spouse as a means to greater intimacy. Here are three ways prayer increases intimacy.

NEW BOOK: THE BEST MEN'S DEVOTIONAL WE'VE CREATED SO FAR.

It Reveals.
Prayer is just a conversation with God. And when we pray, we almost naturally push past surface-level concerns and facts and opinions about the occurrences of our day. But when a couple prays together, a unique spiritual bond catalyzes around concerns, dreams, and desires that reside in your hearts. As you listen to the things your spouse reveals with God, and she listens as you reveal, you each experience a spiritual alignment which exposes a new level of spiritual intimacy.

It Refocuses.
Prayer not only reveals but is also refocuses. Prayer also draws our attention to real problems we face together, thus helping a husband and wife focus or refocus things of real value -- our oneness in Christ. It moves us past peripheral issues and concerns and refocuses our relationship on things of eternal value. In prayer, we often build a vision, bring our needs, and create an agreement which helps us to refocus on how we need oneness rather than how we are individuals. Done on a regular basis, prayer can help us focus on godly values for our lives, family, and future rather drawing us into duality and disagreement. Put another way, it helps us stay on the same page and submissive to God which leads to intimacy.

It Centers.
Prayer centers our relationship in character traits that resemble Christ. Profound intimacy comes about when Jesus is at the very center of a relationship. It is here that we embrace Christ-like characteristics and humbly love, serve, forgive, bear burdens, and share joy together. When Jesus is central, there is potential for greater emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. And prayer is key to keeping Him central in our relationship. As our relationship grows stronger in Jesus, so does the bond between husband and wife.

Try It.
For some, the idea of praying together with your spouse may seem scary or intimidating. Don't let that keep you from trying it. Many wives are longing for their husband to show some spiritual leadership in their relationship and this is an important way to do that. My suggestion? Try praying together for a month and see how it impacts your relationship with your spouse…and with God.