Delegation | Passing The Baton

It’s not until too late we learn to delegate. Often we’re passing a baton, and we discover we have built systems and people that are too dependent on us.





All right guys. Hey, welcome to ManTalk. My name is Vince Miller were good. It's great to be back with you again. I'm your host

again. This is just men talking and I got a bunch of men with me today. How's it going guys? So I got Paul, Tony and David. Uh, all here at Trout Lake Camp. You having a good time? Oh yeah. Is it good? Okay. Yeah. Very good. Best part. Tony, what has it been so far? And then do your. Oh really? Oh Great. Well God's speaking right? Yeah. Got speaking. And that's what we love. We loved to hear God speaking. Anyway, we're continuing in the last lesson in our series on 30 virtues that build a man and hopefully you got your book. We're just trying to model what it looks like for men to have real conversations about life. That's all it is. And this very last lesson is on delegation. We don't have a problem with that, do it? Of course we'd never do. You know, I really believe that for us to be successful men in life, that we get to pass things on. Right? We've got to be able to successfully pass things on a. If we can't figure out a way to do that, life's going to be a challenge. Right. Can you think of someone who's passed something on to you guys in your own life? You think of a name right now? Someone that's influenced you. Who Was it? Paul

lady by the name of the Maryland reedy. Okay. Um, she was actually a mentor of mine when I was in high school really? And she was, uh, she had been with Jesus for juices for years and she actually worked up here trucks who worked with university, Christian fellowship, elderly, but she was one

that's interesting. I worked for Varsity to. Did you as well as a staff director for university. You and I will talk about that. Good stuff, man. So Maryland, Maryland influenced you?

Yeah. Maryland was also a lot of the. From a biblical perspective of how to think.


Okay. And there was a lot of the backup. Don't deal with the emotion. What is actually happening? What do you, what, how does this actually fit into the Bible? This is, how does this influence.

Yeah, yeah, doing that with the 16-year-old guy who can't figure out how to walk around in his own body.

Well, when you're 65, I mean, come on it 16 years old. Right? That's great. So Maryland really influenced you and you remember her first and last name. We're still very good friends. You are still good friends today. So I think that's profound, right? Like we have these people that have passed on wisdom to us, right? It's very significant. So, uh, you, you guys probably have heard a quote like this before, but you know, I think John Wooden was, was a genius, a simple right. He would say things as a coach to his team that I thought was at times very, very deep, but so simple. It made you feel stupid. Okay. So we had one of these quotes and here's one of them. Everything you've learned you've learned from someone else. Okay? So that is a great quote, right? And it's true and it's true of a delegation, right? That's great. A great understanding of what it looks like to like pass on to the next person or the next generation. Something that God has given you to them. Do you think that we do this well though? Are we good at delegating? Okay. You say no right away, Tony. We're not good at it. Are you good at it? I'm just speaking personally.

Why do you think we're not good at it?

I don't know if it's a control issue or what it seems when I usually

try to have somebody else do it. It doesn't turn out. That is true, isn't it? Like so like I think it is probably a control issue a little bit, but we want things to work out exactly the way that we want them to work out. Right. So we hold onto that process or that thing or that idea because we know someone can't do it better than that. How arrogant of us, man, you were really smart. We've really got this whole thing figured out, but it's true. We, we've actually probably tried that before and failed. Right? Have you passed something onto somebody else hoping that they would do it the way that you would hope they would do it and then they totally screwed? Yeah. You've had that experience. Absolutely. What's that like? An incredibly frustrating because it gives me insight to where I need to grow. Oh really? Absolutely. Because,

you know, I think, uh, a lot of times it's very natural and normal for me to project the issue onto somebody else. Okay. And there was this wonderful story you might recall of somebody setting some fireworks on a table.

That was me by the way,

but that was a great illustration of the natural propensity I have as a man when something goes wrong, if I'm teaching my son and he does something wrong now my son is four, so we got to like, if I'm trying to teach a colleague something and he doesn't do it the way that I've instructed him, my first thing is why didn't you do it the way I taught you? Rather than going, is there a better way for me to teach you so you actually understand what I'm trying to communicate? That's right.

You're responding to that. Paul. Have you ever been micromanaged in a way that makes you uncomfortable? I can already feel there's one's coming right here. One of the worst I work in it, the bane

of existence is a micromanager. It's especially if they, you know, me being the most intelligent human being on the face of the earth as much as I do and why you telling me what to do? Um, so there's, there's actually two sides of that. There is, there's the side of me putting my pride in check and saying, okay, let me listen to what this person is telling me because they may have a perspective that I did not understand that I might need to learn something here. And then reverses is when I delegate to somebody else rather than automatically figuring out, okay, where am I going to put the broom and Dustpan and to clean up after this guy, um, let go of the result. Because if you don't let go of the result, how will they learn?

God, I love that you see both sides of the equation and I love that you work in it because we need guys like you, but you're able to see this problem so clearly, right? Like it, it has something to do with us, right? Receiving the feedback that we need, but it also has something to do with how we're passing those things on and what does it look like to successfully do that when we're trying to delegate things, right? We're trying to delegate things and hand them off. There's going to be a level of non success. People are going to screw things up, right? I don't ever get anything right the very first time. If I. If I did, I would basically be Jesus. I mean, I wouldn't need any help. I wouldn't need to have someone delegate something to me, but I wonder if the reason why we sometimes don't delegate is that we're impatient and we don't like the results.

You know, Vince on this. I think people really don't recognize how unnatural it is to let things go and to be a servant leader. See in today we, I see a lot of managers or high execs or what have you, kind of the status quo is I need to control something. I need to possess something in order to be valuable or important, and the Lord says it's very opposite. If you want to be the greatest, you need to become the least you need to serve and so you see this micromanagement issue ramp that because people in order for them to feel important and appreciated or valued, they need to have it and bark orders or or what have you, and so this is very counterintuitive to especially I think the human or the man experience.

Okay, so let me. Let me add something to that and you tell me if I'm close, but I think that there's part of this equation when you're describing that moment right there, that we wrap our identity. There it is into that thing and because it risks our identity, then we're threatened by that moment. If it doesn't get delegated the right way, that's close. Does that close and then the servant leadership piece is kind of the release of our identity, right? And saying, you know what? I'm going to leave the results up to us. As Christian men can say, God, right? We can leave the results up to God and say we're going to pass it on. That's what I love about the text today. In exodus chapter 18, I mean this is a moment where Moses is passing on the baton to someone else and it's pretty significant and Moses knows that he's got to delegate.

He's got to give some things away. In fact, Jesus lived the very same way. Jesus understood that his life had a timespan to it and understood that he was going to have to successfully delegate things to 12 men in hopes that they would carry on the mission well without him, but yet with him and capturing the essence of the character needed to accomplish that task. I think that that's what you're getting at with that servant leader pieces. There's the character needed to be able to successfully delegate and it's multifaceted. It's character that says, I'm, I'm receptive to feedback, right? Like you're talking about Paul, his character that says, I'm willing to let go the results to other people. It's character that says, well, things aren't going to get done my way, or I Tony not always. And his character that says the like, look, my identity is not wrapped up in this thing.

And, and because of that, uh, I'm going to allow God to engage in this process and it may threaten my identity, but I'm okay with that because I will always be God's man, man. If we could live in that space, that would be great. Fantastic. But it's really hard. And Moses here in this moment is trying to own everything, right? You know, the moment his father in law comes in, jethro says, why are you trying to do everything right? But Moses, his identity and his responsibility factor was so high he didn't want any of these ridiculous people, right? They couldn't follow God to screw up the process, but he had to learn to hand it off. And jethro, jethro was, was right. He had to hand some things off so he could get about the business of leading and he was exhausted at the end of the day, right? Because he was trying to do too, too much. Have you ever been exhausted at the end of the day because you tried to do too much every day. This guy right here is confessing. He's got a real problem with this, but it's true every day we own it so much and we probably need to release it. I mean, what wisdom do you think guys need to hear to begin this process of delegation? What do we need to do to take the first step? What do you think? Thanks in Senegal, what's that movie? Frozen set at all? Go.

I think there's a piece

before that because Moses did is he picked who he was until the gate too. So there's a part of that. You are already investing individuals before you delegate. Yeah. And you're, you're getting, you're getting your. I think, I forget what the river it was, it was David who had the mighty men, but it's, it's the, it's your, it's your likely suspects. Yes. Basically you have invested in before and then you start handing off and you'd be okay if it blows up. Yeah, but. And then you go back and review what happened, how could we do it better? What do you need more from me? How could we do this different? Yeah. And you know, I really don't. You think

that that's the process we don't like as leader sometimes as especially as men, is we we have to face the fact that, yeah, we're going to be exhausted if we don't hand it off. Yes, but it's also exhausting to think of what it's going to look like to affectively equip the people were handing it off to. Yes, but that is the unique call of being a man of God, I believe, is to say, we got to step up. We've got to lead. We've got to do the hard work, and that's what I love about Jesus. I don't think Jesus ever second guessed the fact that he is going to have to select 12 men to pass on his legacy too. He knew the day that he began his earthly ministry, that that's the first thing he did. I mean, it's remarkable. It isn't. The last thing he did.

It wasn't an afterthought. He didn't accidentally disciple men and delegate to them. It was the very first thing he did was called men very close to him to follow him and to watch his ways for a couple of years before he died. Never an afterthought because that's what a great man does is he figures out ways to delegate and to pass it on because like John wouldn't set everything I've learned, I have learned from someone else is a genius comment. You really think of it, but it's true. Everything that we've learned in life we've learned from someone else and God wants us to pass that on. I think that's where the genius of being an evangelical comes in, right? We are called to share God's message with the world. So guys, uh, I want to encourage you to do the same, uh, share God's message with the world.

And this last lesson, this is so important and the time that we've invested here, right, helps us to be smarter. Hopefully on the other side. And maybe Tony, we learned to delegate a little bit. Yeah, more, right? That's a challenge for you. I'll be checking in with you, see if the load gets a little bit lighter and may be heavy for a short season, but it gets lighter in the longterm and eventually we can let go of things. And so guys, I just want to keep encouraging you and challenging you. Thanks for being with us in the series on 30 virtues that build a man and I'll see you right back here next time on another edition ManTalk