How To Guide Men To Develop Meaningful Relationships

The Three Marks of Godly Masculine Relationships

I want you to reflect for a moment on a man (or men) who have shaped your life. Just reflect for a moment about how they shaped and influenced you.

Are you thinking about them?

If so, you probably realize that you still long for that connection. Relationships that transcend the superficial and mundane. Relationships where we can be ourselves, be understood, and be challenged. But these relationships are far too scarce. And we don't need many of these relationships, but men undeniably require a few solid spiritual bonds in their lives.

And so my goal today is to point you to what these look like. Today I will give you three marks that are hallmarks of the strong bonds we should have with other men and that we want other men to find as well.

Mark One | Acceptance

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. — Romans 15:7

Men long for acceptance. But not just any kind of acceptance. True biblical acceptance. And there is a vast difference between the generalized acceptance that most think this verse is talking about.

Wrong acceptance is settling for a compromise that goes against biblical truth. It is a form of approval that condones sin or embraces ideologies that go against the teachings of Scripture. As advocated for here, proper acceptance is based on thoughtful discernment and spoken love. It involves accepting others, regardless of their flaws or past, while upholding God's truth and moral standards. Proper acceptance recognizes the inherent worth of a man as God's creation (Genesis 1:27) and acknowledges the need for repentance and transformation, which means we must get aligned with God's truth (Acts 3:19).

And this is the kind of acceptance that marks great masculine relationships. It says, "I love you, man, but I don't want you to repeat the same mistakes. I want you to be a better man. A more godly man."

And that's mark one. We must be that man and guide men to other men who will do the same.

Mark Two | Truth

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. — Ephesians 4:15

Men also need another man who will speak the truth to them. But the basis for this truth does not stem from their opinions. It's founded on the only truth we have — Scripture. And this text has a caveat on how we speak it — in love. And this truth has a purpose — spiritual growth and maturity. In other words, men need men who will speak biblical truth in loving ways to other men so they will spiritually grow.

But this assumes a lot because plenty of men out there don't know how to do this. They might only speak their opinions. Or they might know the truth but only say it harshly. Or they speak it with no interest in helping others spiritually grow. And many men have been ruined by spiritual relationships who have done this all wrong — men who have failed in every aspect of this truth.

Here is a short list of prerequisites that might help when looking for a man who can do this. Find a man who:

  1. Wants God's best for you.
  2. Understands you.
  3. Speaks your language.
  4. Makes steps actionable.
  5. Gives constructive feedback.
  6. Remains committed to you.

And here's the deal. If you want to grow in the truth as a man of God, you must be willing to step into this. It's never perfect. It will be messy sometimes. Men say stupid things in stupid ways because we are all stupid. But avoiding this mark is not the path to becoming a better man of God.

Mark Three | Vulnerability

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. — Galatians 6:2

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. — Proverbs 27:17

The final mark is the safety of being vulnerable. In these types of relationships, men can fully expose their true selves and confront their struggles without the fear of abandonment or rejection. This environment offers men security where they can lay bare their issues, confusion, and sin, knowing they will be met with compassion and understanding.

Most men have never experienced this. And there are many reasons why, including social expectations, cultural norms, upbringing, and some unfortunate experiences with other men or Christian men. As a result, being vulnerable means first getting beyond all these hurts and hangups. And for some, this makes vulnerability daunting.

But true godly vulnerability is where men are made. When a vulnerable piece of metal is placed in the ironsmith's hands, he is subject to the ironsmith's discretion. And yes, there is heat, beating, and grinding. But if we will subject ourselves to a vulnerable process, on the other side, shape, sharpening, and shining happens. But it only happens when we are vulnerable and submit ourselves to vulnerability. And this goes for both men in a relationship. We must model vulnerability and be vulnerable.

So there are your three marks. Acceptance. Truth. Vulnerability.

By embracing these, we pave the way for authentic, transformative relationships that reflect the love of Christ. Remember, we must model these marks ourselves and seek out men who embody them. In doing so, you will experience the power and beauty of godly masculine relationships that shape and strengthen you on your path to becoming the man God has called you to be.

You can visit me at

And live all in for him, who lived all in for you.

3 thoughts on “How To Guide Men To Develop Meaningful Relationships

  1. Eddie Ackerman says:

    I remember the first man that took a Godly interest in me, and I can’t wait to see him again when we are standing with Jesus. He has already been called home close to 20 years now, but the roughly one year that he invested in my life still affects me to this day. I grew up without my biological father and still to this day, 37 years later, have never met the man in person. This neighbor brought me to church when no one else even offered. He taught me to treat others, especially my sister, with respect and to be in control of my emotions and actions. Your light still shines in me today Brother and I long to see you again, but I have my own family to take care of in the mean time. I have met at least one man in my life that had a deeper connection to God than me in all seasons in my life and I have learned to soak up any and all knowledge they have to depart because it is all for the good of anyone who hears it. Brothers in Christ, keep growing and being vulnerable in your walk with Christ and never be ashamed to cry, Jesus and David both wept in the Bible and they are the men that we all want to emulate, obviously Jesus more than David because He was sinless.

  2. Larry pemberton says:

    Thank you Vince for being a great example of a man of God. Ty for your boldness in speaking out to men
    God Bless You
    Your Brother in Christ

  3. Mark says:

    Thank you Brother Vince for this insight into meaningful relationships between men. For those of you who do not yet have what Vince is sharing today, please do it, find a brother to go all in like he is describing here. As God was walking me out of my selfish sin and immortality God brought me snd a very good friend into a relationship of complete vulnerability and gut level honesty. Chris is my brother, my prayer warrior, my accountability partner and my strength when I need a swift kick. There are no secrets, we did the hard painful work with God’s blessing and His love, and we are better men today because of it. Iron truly sharpens iron brothers, find a Chris, pray that God will lead two of you through the steps Vince is talking about, I assure you…. there will he peace, healing and strength when you do it. Praise God he’s done this in our lives!

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