Stop Building A Case

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.—Ephesians 4:26-27

One of the great pivot points in any marriage is that moment we learn how to stop privately building a case against our wife. Most men will admit that they have a negative sentiment or a privately held cynical belief about their wife. And these don't just pop up overnight but over long periods. What happens is this:

  • First, there is some event or a series of events that catalyze into a noticeable negative pattern we don't like. Because of this, we construct a negative opinion of our spouse.
  • Second, to reinforce that case, we begin to view them only through this belief and thus interpret unrelated events, comments, or actions as evidence for our positions. And when we see the proof, we say to ourselves, “There it is again.”
  • Third, we reinforce these beliefs with powerful negative emotions that support the case we've built.

Often this case we've built is revealed right in the middle of a heated argument when we've felt hurt or disrespected. The solution is simple. Consider sunsetting this private anger and stop giving an opportunity to the devil.

DO THIS: Sunset your anger.

PRAY THIS: God, show me the reaches and depths of my anger and help me to reconcile the case I've privately built in my heart.

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