The Route To Better Intimacy With Your Spouse
Get more results. A surprising route to better intimacy that will pay great dividends.
Do I have your attention?
Greater intimacy with our spouse is what we all want. To men, this usually means one thing - sex. To women, this usually means something different - quality time. But these are generalizations. But what if I could suggest a path to intimacy that would build a deeper bond that you both might agree with? And no men, it's not the combo platter of "more quality sex time."
Here is something you probably haven't considered - engaging in daily prayer with your spouse as a means to greater intimacy. Here are three ways prayer increases intimacy.
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Prayer is just a conversation with God. And when we pray, we almost naturally push past surface-level concerns and facts and opinions about the occurrences of our day. But when a couple prays together, a unique spiritual bond catalyzes around concerns, dreams, and desires that reside in your hearts. As you listen to the things your spouse reveals with God, and she listens as you reveal, you each experience a spiritual alignment which exposes a new level of spiritual intimacy.
Prayer not only reveals but is also refocuses. Prayer also draws our attention to real problems we face together, thus helping a husband and wife focus or refocus things of real value -- our oneness in Christ. It moves us past peripheral issues and concerns and refocuses our relationship on things of eternal value. In prayer, we often build a vision, bring our needs, and create an agreement which helps us to refocus on how we need oneness rather than how we are individuals. Done on a regular basis, prayer can help us focus on godly values for our lives, family, and future rather drawing us into duality and disagreement. Put another way, it helps us stay on the same page and submissive to God which leads to intimacy.
Prayer centers our relationship in character traits that resemble Christ. Profound intimacy comes about when Jesus is at the very center of a relationship. It is here that we embrace Christ-like characteristics and humbly love, serve, forgive, bear burdens, and share joy together. When Jesus is central, there is potential for greater emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. And prayer is key to keeping Him central in our relationship. As our relationship grows stronger in Jesus, so does the bond between husband and wife.
For some, the idea of praying together with your spouse may seem scary or intimidating. Don't let that keep you from trying it. Many wives are longing for their husband to show some spiritual leadership in their relationship and this is an important way to do that. My suggestion? Try praying together for a month and see how it impacts your relationship with your spouse…and with God.
Vince Miller is a speaker, author, and mentor to men. He is an authentic and transparent leader who loves to communicate to audiences on the topics of mentorship, fathering, leadership and manhood. He has authored 13 books and small group curriculum for men and is the primary content creator of all Resolute materials. Contact Vince Miller here. His newest book is Thirty Virtues That Build A Man.