Words Leave Wounds


There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. — Proverbs 12:18

This definitely captures the feeling of a harsh word. Does it not?

A harsh word feels like a giant sword thrust into us by another. It's excruciating when it comes from someone we know and when we don't expect it.

On the other hand, some men know this pain. They have been pierced a few times in their life. Maybe from the front, side, and back. They know the pain, the wound, and the healing salve that's needed. Thus they are wise and have wisdom to share that will promote healing. And fellas, if you are wounded right now, you need a man like this. So find him. He'll know what to say and probably give you some good next steps.

And fellas, if you have been wounded in the past, do something for me today. Share that wound in the comments below. Let other men know they are not alone. And maybe you might find a Christian brother to lean on today.

ASK THIS: What's that wound that needs healing today?

DO THIS: Share it below.

PRAY THIS: God, bring men into my life to guide me and help me heal.

PLAY THIS: Jordan Feliz — Wounds.


short + biblical + practical
Read through the Bible daily with Vince Miller.

34 thoughts on “Words Leave Wounds

  1. Tim says:

    I have felt the wounds of words from someone whom I thought would always be by my side but turned away when I was most vulnerable. I wish I could say I have recovered and healed with time but when it comes to mind it rips through the scar and wounds anew. I long for the balm that can heal this wound.

  2. John R Comstock says:

    I have been wounded for a while. In my past I was told I was slow, unprofessional and worthless. Forgiveness has been a hard road for me, but I have managed to forgive those who hurt me, even my parents. But I have been blessed to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you for this devotion as well as all the devotions you have given. They are truly meaningful and powerful.

  3. Dennis says:

    A few years ago, I was struggling with porn and I slipped. I called a guy at the church I was going to and shared my struggle with him . He turned around and leaked it to others and told me my sin was worse that His. It did cause trust issues with me that still exist to this day. I am very careful about who I allow to get close me.

    • Chad says:

      Wow, that’s a tough one Dennis. Having trust betrayed when sharing something so personal and sensitive is no joke. I hope you are able to find someone to confide in to help you.

  4. Garrett V. says:

    For me personally it has been my rash words that have effected my marriage and had often come from drunkenness. I failed to take ownership of my actions when I was under the influence. My wife has a lot of scars from these actions. I have given all of these moments to GOD, our Heavenly Father and I have repented for my drunkenness. The scars are still running deep through her at times but the constant pursuit of Christ has helped me stay patient and understand that I caused this and to be with her and listen to her. It is the least I can do for her for all that she has gone through to stay committed to our marriage. I Praise the Lord for blessing me with a woman of such grace.

  5. Chris says:

    I have plenty of wounds. The old wounds are the one that affect me the most. I had a very critical mom. Well I guess I have a very critical mom. We have had some good talks about my childhood and me and her and we are pretty much fine now. But those wounds still hurt really bad sometimes and I would say they affect me every day even on days when they don’t hurt. Some of the things I believed about myself and life are this. I’m not ok. The only way to be ok is to be perfect or to have others always be happy with me. This is impossible so it’s hopeless. Now she didn’t say that but that’s what learned from what I saw from her behavior. I’ve done lots of work over the years on my self trying to correct my bad core beliefs about myself and life but they are really deep. Been pretty down and fearful the last days. Worried it will get worse and knock me out for a while as has happened several times in the past. Working through it hoping for it to turn soon. I would love for these wounds to be permanently healed but if that’s not what God has for me I’m ok with that too. Thanks

    • Dennis says:

      God’s promise is that He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds-Psalm 147:3
      Also we are new creation in Christ. There are many more of His promises. Stop listening to lies of the enemy and press on in who you are in Christ. Have you ever sat with your Mom and verbalized your pains with her? Then forgive her? Try it. Because whatever we bring to the light then has no more power over us. Prayers Brother

  6. CJB says:

    I have dad issues and never feeling good enough for those around me. Then I have a quick and angry retort, especially to those closest to
    me. Exact opposite of quick to listen, slow to speak or get angry.

    I need to chill when I hear and also stop using the word… BUT.
    Good job, but…
    Looks nice, but…
    I love you, but…

    That can be a sole crusher. Most times it’s best to keep our mouths shut and our buts to ourselves.

  7. Kevin says:

    I can only say the wounds left by my father have healed . But still have scars. I grew up in a abusive alcoholic ranging father. Who pretty much left us when I was 10.
    I want to share that I became a Christian at 21. But didn’t deal with the emotional trauma for 30 yrs!! So dumb. But I finally did.
    Through prayer and counseling, I was able to confront my dad and create boundaries.
    So men in closing seek wise counsel, don’t except toxic relationships. You are a man of God.

  8. Eric says:

    Nothing I could do as a child was right. I carrry this baggage into other areas of my life. It affects my work, my family, even my walk with Jesus.
    I even went to a 4 year college to seek my earthly father’s approval. When I couldnt get a job with my degree, i knew God has something bigger and better for me. I try my darndest and second guess every step I take. Like Paul said, “we all fall short of the Glory of God, and maybe, just maybe that is what brings us to our knees before the One who can make us new.

    • Eric says:

      So, after sharing my comment with my wife, she just read Romans 3:23 “we all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” For her Good News Club lesson for this week.

    • Dennis says:

      When you accepted Christ, you became a new creation. Don’t second guess your every step, move forward having faith in our heavenly Father.
      Proverbs 3: 5-6

  9. Mark says:

    My porn addiction caused great harm in my marriage, God is good and I no longer seek that outlet. But her pain and lack of trust continues and at times her words are daggers that hurt deeply, I’m not that man anymore. Fortunately I have a brother in Christ who listens, prays with me and keeps me grounded in faith, together we work through all of this in prayer and scripture.

    • Brian says:

      Hi Mark,
      I have caused hurts like that as well. Yes the words back from my wife hurt bad. I try to remember it is her pain talking.
      We are here for each your.

      • Chad says:

        That’s a good word Brian. I need to remember this when my wife speaks harshly to me. it is her pain talking..

  10. Art Landerman says:

    both my children have left. i blamed it on my political and religious affiliation differences, however my wife blamed it on my personality. that is a dagger i’m still dealing with. she finds me repulsive because of a porn addiction i had recently. the nasty words her step-father spoke to her during puberty damage rd her for life. being a porn addict made thing immeasurable worse for us. i’m 69 and still dealing with this crud.

    • George Beach says:

      Vince’s series “Defeating Repetitive Sin” was God’s answer to my desperate cry out to Jesus for help breaking that addiction — it was the key that turned “want to” into effective action for me. Try it. It worked for me. Thank God……and Vince😇.

    • Chris says:

      I can relate. I was addicted to pornography for a long time. I consider myself recovered for the last 2 1/2 years now. I first told my wife about it 15 years ago. Me and her are as good as we have ever been now. I spent so many years trying overcome it and she had to endure it. I really started changing about 5 years but man it was slow and very painful. She used to make me feel so bad with all of her built up resentment that some times I just wanted God to take me home it hurt so bad. It’s not easy but there is hope. I did lots of things but the twelve steps are what made the most impact for us. Hope it gets better for you soon.

  11. Domingo DeGuzman says:

    I pray I pray that god will increase our characteristic ways Give us the spirit to walk in a godly manner And not man’s manner not man’s ways
    I pray god would give me the spirit of getting up in the morning to read each and everyday pushing self to do What does spirit is asking us to do Be more attentive in listening He red and what The man of god He’s saying I pray that god will increase my spiritual walk Increase my spiritual talk Increase A spiritual mentality in us Amen

    • Eric says:

      Samuel, I have been there. I still struggle with anger and even went to counseling for it. Remember anger is the result of other emotions bottling up. God loves you very much. He willl never leave you nor foraake you. He has called you by name. Read John chapter 15, and Isaiah 41:10.

  12. Don Rigazio says:

    As my wife grieves she gets sharp with her tongue. She lost her dad and we lost a grand baby within 12 weeks of each other. I’ve taken some heavy words from her but I know she’s hurting and doesn’t really mean them. However it does hurt in the moment. I put my trust in Jesus and keep plugging along forgiving her every day . If she is going to lash out in anger or sorrow I’d rather it be me she directs it to. This is called being there for you wife in good times and bad times . I continue to pray for her healing and for Jesus to not let me take this personal.

  13. Joe says:

    My ex wife wounded me 19 years ago when I came home to an empty house and she had her family move her out. Went to counseling to see what I done wrong. She accused me of doing everything wrong. The counselors tried talking with her and she refused to acknowledge anything wrong on her part. There is some deep deep issues that she has and the only answer is Christ. I pray daily for my 3 kids that they talk and see how untreated problems do not go away. After 19 years she still hates me and tries to pin the kids against me and I honestly did nothing wrong. God is in control and we will all stand in front of him on our judgement day and give an account of our lives.

    • Domingo DeGuzman says:

      I pray I pray that god will increase our characteristic ways Give us the spirit to walk in a godly manner And not man’s manner not man’s ways
      I pray god would give me the spirit of getting up in the morning to read each and everyday pushing self to do What does spirit is asking us to do Be more attentive in listening He red and what The man of god He’s saying I pray that god will increase my spiritual walk Increase my spiritual talk Increase A spiritual mentality in us Amen

  14. Ben says:

    I have been wounded by my father and his harsh parenting and critique and treatment of me for years. I have forgiven him, but never came to a realization of his actions.
    Now he has Alzheimer’s and is unable to make it right.

    I have been wounded by my wife for 17 years. She has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I have born the brunt of her harsh words and selfish actions. I am the shield to protect my children from her actions. I also forgive her, I’ve gotten counseling. It’s a disorder, but I leave it in God’s hands and he gives me strength.

    Pray for my strength.

    I Love this devotional. Keep on Vince!!

  15. Greg says:

    I was married to a woman who, it turns out, has borderline personality disorder.
    I am not a perfect man, just forgiven, and more importantly, being sanctified daily. I am learning to be more patient, thankful, and positive in my words and convoys.

    Yet, “she” still sends nasty text messages meant to cut and maim. I know now, that those words come from her pain. But, I am not innocent either. I am a “co-dependent” person. I allowed those things to happen. Yet. The destruction of those words to me, and those around me, still had, / have their effect.
    Father, help me to be loving. Kind, forgiving, to all. Because, You ran !!!! To me once. I have Jesus. To thank eternally!!!

  16. Brian says:

    I have been wounded and I have done the wounding. I have heard it said it we don’t transform our hurt we transfer it. I wish I got help many many years ago.
    My wounds of abuse and feeling I need to be perfect. The verbal abuse is one of the worse 20 to 30 years later the word still hurt me.
    I have wounded so many people. My wife for cheating on her and years of porn. I was distance from God so I was not leading her or my kids. I hurt my kids because I was not present for them as they grew up.
    God, I am doing what I can and what I know to fix this mess I made, but I need you to repair the hearts and souls of the ones I have hurt. Help heal me and them.

    Thank you Vince for you devos. They are great

    • Chris says:

      I have a similar story. You’re not alone. It’s a hard road sometimes. God is good. Thanks for your comment It’s an encouragement to me

  17. Gary says:

    Romans 13
    King James Version

    13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
    14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

  18. Scott Aponte says:

    Great devotional today Vince! As I was listening, God put it on my heart to share with you that I have been one of the individuals to inflict wounds on people, due to my tongue. Mainly because I was “justified” or because I was “right” in what I was saying.

    My wife (one of the many I have hurt), who is full of love and wisdom has learned, and keeps instilling in me. Sometimes is better to be kind and loving, than it is to be justified, or right.

    My prayer goes out to all that have been wounded, but it also goes out to the ones causing those wounds. May the Spirit of of Lord guide your tongue, but may your spirit be changed by his love.

    • Trent says:

      “better to be kind and loving than justified or right” man is that not the truth. And I know that. Remembering it and holding my tongue however….. Thank you for the reminder this morning and the prayers for all.

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